Here I am writing another blog post, for couples who want to get married but who feel that the perfect wedding for them is not what tradition dictates.
This blog post will help reassure you and stop listening to those who tell you this BS!
Furthermore, you will understand that these statements are indeed very relative.
Thinking about it, you will be able to understand that there is no general right or wrong. But rather something that you feel inside and yours.
The decision for a small wedding comes from within, fears from the outside.
- It’s Not Special And “True” Like A Big Wedding
- The Wedding Ceremony Is Superfluous Because It’s Not Important
- There Is Nothing To Do During The Day
- It Is A Quickly Organized Thing
- An Intimate Wedding Must Be Simple And Cheap
- Wedding With Few Guests = They Marry Just To Get It Done
- It’s For Poor Or Stingy People
- An Intimate Wedding Must Be A Secret
- It’s Seedy And Fast
- Elopement Weddings Are Selfish
It’s Not Special And “True” Like A Big Wedding
That the importance of a wedding is measured by the number of guests makes me very sad. Unfortunately, it is a bit of culture that teaches us this. It makes me sick to know that so many young couples are afraid of missing out if they don’t have a huge wedding with 200+ guests.
In my opinion and experience, a romantic elopement is even more emotionally charged than a traditional wedding. It often seems to me that at weddings we usually have, the focus of the party is lost a little – I mean the very reason for the celebration. Don’t you find it stressful to have to be with all the guests instead of taking genuine care of a few but good ones?
The wedding ceremony is superfluous, because it is not important
An intimate wedding can take place in a civil registry office and there is no time to have a serious ceremony. Often the municipalities are not very romantic places, (even if I really like the smell of paper in the offices) and although some mayors may have the skills of a good officiant, having such a simple ceremony, it is not really every couple’s dream.
But who says you can only have a quick and “meaningless” ceremony?
The options are a thousand and there are tons of ways for a lovely wedding ceremony – th one of your dreams too! Don’t stop at the civil registry ceremony, if that’s not what you appreciate.
There is nothing to do during the day
Quite the contrary! You have time to do more things and more things that really interest you!
Of course, transporting a large number of guests from one place to another takes its time – which could make it waste just as much. Sometimes, at big weddings, it seems you have to wait a lot around for things to happen.
Instead of following a traditional plan – why not use the time to hike? Or to sit in a meadow and admire the mountains? Go on a paragliding ride? Why not celebrate in so many different ways and why not do things that represent you? I also wrote a blog post on ideas to make your intimate and simple wedding even more special!
Elopements Are Quickly Organized Things
It can, but it must not.
It all depends on you and how important it is to have the time to organize your day.
Just because a wedding is organized in a short time does not mean that it is badly organized. Or at least not always.
How much time is okay to plan your elopement wedding?
Indeed, it is all relative. I have seen couples realize their dream in 2 months – 3 weeks and 2 years. The importance of a wedding is not measured by the time it takes to organize it. The importance is simply not measurable – you have to feel it as yours and you can be free to put the amount of time you need to make it perfect for you!
With this, we go to the next point, which is very similar.
An Intimate Wedding Must Be Simple And Cheap
Holy canoli – NO! NO AND NO AND ONCE AGAIN NO!
By the way, what does “simple” mean and what does “cheap” mean? Simplicity and cheapness are just as relative as the time it takes to organize the wedding. We are all different and have different priorities.
Certainly, an intimate wedding can be for tight budgets and may have less details – but it doesn’t have to. Above all, it doesn’t immediately mean it’s bleak.
There are people who quietly invest even €35,000 for their intimate wedding. These couples do it precisely because it is not important for them to have a lavish wedding for the guests, but because they want to afford something that they like and that is important to them. Whether it’s a luxury hotel or a very long holiday. It matters little – even here, the importance of an elopement wedding is not measured in “simple” and “economic”. Over and out.
Wedding With Few Guests = They Marry Just To Get It Done
No oh well, something is going terribly wrong! Shall we take off the blinders, please? A wedding with few or no guests is not synonymous with drunken getting married in Las Vegas on a whim. Thank you.
I also hear “Yes, but those are getting married for the fifteenth time, then”. Um NO! It doesn’t matter if it’s the first or third time. If you try again, it means you still believe in it. And if you want a small and different wedding, maybe it’s because it suits you better and not because it matters less. Regardless if it’s the first or fifteenth time.
Couples who intentionally choose a romantic intimate wedding are often couples who are simply looking for a different experience – one that makes them feel at ease. And boy, how much I understand them!
I don’t know about you, but I get anxious just thinking about inviting more than 2 people (me + my future husband) at my wedding. Maybe I would invite my cats too but oh well – I think the point is clear.
It’s For Poor Or Stingy People
* rolls eyes endlessly *
Should we discuss this? It is probably said by those who feel offended not to be invited.
This also saddens me a lot, because couples may feel that what they want is not worthy of being called wedding. Or worse still being called stingy by friends or relatives offended for their choice. Nobody wants to feel poor or stingy. But in most cases, neither one nor the other is really a decision point. I don’t think couples want to marry intimately just “to save money” – maybe, but that’s certainly not the crux. This is also to take back what I said above: “cheap” is relative.
An Intimate Wedding Must Be A Secret
It can, but it must not. Indeed, couples often prefer to be transparent and tell it at home or even take some close friends or relatives with them.
Even if it were a secret, it does not mean that the wedding is shameful or made against the want of the family. Some couples are simply looking for something just for them.
A little party back home from the elopement can always be something nice. Nobody says you can only celebrate just one day. If not, please leave me an email here email@example.com and let me know more ok, thanks!
And by the way, here you are the blog post about multiple-days weddings!
It’s seedy and fast
What do you mean? Just because we don’t have 2h mass is not good and it’s like we weren’t married, do I understand correctly?
Who cares how long a ceremony lasts, if done with heart and feelings? And then, maybe if someone helps me to define “seedy” I would be really grateful.
Like so many of these myths, this statement is also very relative.
Did you know that the dream of some newlywed couple is to have the most total informality and to take a trip to the refuge and eat polenta with mushrooms?
Well, I don’t see anything shabby and if there is someone in your circle of friends or relatives who thinks so, it’s okay to leave them at home – sorry if I’m a bit mean.
Elopement weddings are selfish
This is the worst myth, which makes many people feel guilty who feel with their hearts that they want a small wedding and have a romantic or adventurous day.
I want to reassure you that it is NOT selfish to want to marry intimately. Whether it’s just the two of you or 5 or 20 of you. Think rather of doing a favour to those who don’t want to go to weddings anyway. Have you never seen the memes on Facebook and who comments on them? : P These people are everywhere, don’t be fooled.
And if despite everything, you want to celebrate together, there is still the possibility of doing it later. In the end, you two want to get married, no one else is needed.
In The End:
As I mentioned in the introduction, many of these myths are very relative and there is no general answer. But an answer that makes you feel at ease.
Your desires come from within, your fears from the outside.
If there is anything else I can do for you – even just a video call to find out if a small wedding in the Dolomites could be for you, don’t hesitate to contact me!
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